Deep Cuts...Deeper Meaning

Here it is, I was actually going to post a "quick thought for the day" and ended up thinking entirely too much and now here I am. I have a little more to say then just a few sentences. Last night's tragedy turned into a little lesson for me..Not my girls who are at 10 and 7 more mature than I remember being at 16...Man am I impressed.
My daughters last night playing ball "read earlier post" and Tiffani has become the bearer of a new scar. She was not crying, other than the initial scream of course...and after about 5 minutes of "Am I going to have a scar Mommy?" The tables turned and MUCH to my surprise....Tiffani who is 7 years old, started asking me...If "Emilee was okay?" I was thinking, "? WHAT?" is Emilee okay?

"Yes Tiff, Emmy's okay!"

"Are you sure Mommy, she is crying? Is she Okay?"

And before we left for the hospital...she had to run into the house and kiss and hug her sister...and say to her before she left.."I'm okay Sissy!"
I thought to myself the entire way to the hospital...WOW, here my kids is going to get stitches and she is worried about her sister...Watching them together last night and when Tiffani got home from the hospital Emilee has a little card and a candy present...I realised that..even though they fight...even though they get mad at each other...even though they argue constantly...
When it comes down to it, I am doing a damn good job. My kids have now more than I EVER had with my sister and my goal their entire lives was to implement that...I had never seen a real example of that until last night and Boy am I proud!

I am a very happy mommy that my girls showed their affection for each other when it really mattered and their selfishness was behind them. Today is a proud day for me, and when I am smiling today and someone asks me why I am smiling...I will just say "Just Cuz.."

Proud of my girls today and everyday but today will shine though and be a wonderful memory that sticks out above most!

Tiffani's New Stitches

Tiffani fought the ball and the ball won tonight...Emilee and Tiffani thought that it was a great idea to play ball at night...not too bright. So tonight Tiffani Raye bears the scar of a whole new experience for her. The funniest part is, that she was more worried about Emilee who was crying because she felt bad. So Tiffani kept trying to make sure that Emilee was okay. She was taken to the ER and given her first and hopefully last stitches. She was an excellent patient in fact the doctor asked if she cried when it happened if not she was going to do a CT scan, said it wasn't normal for kids this age NOT to freak out! LOL She was amazing, she talked to the doctor while she got stitched up and she asked the doctor tons of questions and I told (Dr) just give it to her straight. It was awesome, she was great! I am so proud to have such a calm and mature daughter. Here are a few pictures from tonight, not too gory, hopefully they aren't too graphic. Have a great night and lets hope that tomorrow's post is of a greater nature. Kids....and accidents, hand in hand...

Update from the Doctor...

Doctor visit went okay. I got a horrendous cortisone shot under my knee cap, I literally cried. He said that it would make it feel better until my MRI (I just had an xray today) so I agreed with him and let him do it. He said that most people just ask him, "Is this it? That wasn't bad." I totally beg to differ. I was in GI-NORMOUS pain. it was pretty bad for about an hour but there was a lidocaine injection with the cortisone that did eventually numb the knee. I have a few bone spurs on my Meniscus..Ya..that...lol and they are going to have to do the MRI to see the ligaments and the nerves and stuff. So for now my little heart is content with the fact that I just get to wait a few more days to find out and also that this shot that I had today is supposed to make my knee feel better in the meantime. He did say that it will not feel better for a few days because the medicine takes that long to work, but the lidocaine that did work for 6-12 hours did help me get my grocery shopping done. Nice! I will definitely keep you updated on exactly what they say and if they are going to put me under the knife. I am thinking that I am OK seeing that Xray really didn't show anything too extensive! Let's pray. Thanks for taking the time to read me! Love you all.

Back in the Day...

I was sitting here this morning and remembering back in the day...when I was completely pain free. This afternoon I have an appointment with the knee surgeon. Apparently when we got into our last accident(yes last, I have been in 5 in the last 3 years, so I have to refer to it as last) I slammed on the fake brake on the passenger side of the vehicle, it seems that in short I tore the ligaments around and under my knee cap..Yay a sports injury just for driving to the store.
This has been a real long journey, trying to heal all of my wounds. It has been pretty rough. For those of you who don't know what I have been through physically here is a short "fill you in" about what, when, where, why, and how...


Accident #1) 1996 I was in a 1980 full size blazer and I was laying down in the back seat taking a nap on a trip to Az. I was wrapped in a blanket and I did not have a seat belt on, because I was laying down. There was a uhaul tow dolly attached to the back with a Volkswagen Golf on it. Long story short, we started fishtailing, I remember seeing grass then seeing people in my face. There was a 1900 lb car on my chest no wonder I couldn't breathe. I was in the hospital for about 7 days, but was a very lucky lady...all of my stitches and scars are in my hair and one little on my forehead...you can't really see them. It was pretty bad I had about 800 stitches but my long hair helps cover up the evidence. I was black and blue from head to toe, so needless to say I had a rough few weeks but all in all I ended up being alright. Blessed by the lord truly to be able to walk after that, and still be a pretty decent looking lady.

Accident #2) 2006: I was walking into my eye doctor (no pun intended) and didn't see that there was something wet, slick all over their tile floor and I took a pretty bad spill, I dislocated my hip and hurt it pretty bad, I ended up having several sets of injections and alot of physical therapy..I was recovering pretty well until

Accident #3) I was driving home from the grocery store out in the middle of the country. I was in the left hand lane that was a passing lane. There were cars behind me in both lanes, and I was getting ready to slow down and turn onto my street. I turned on my signal and I slowed to a stop noticing that all people behind me were getting into the right lane to pass...except the jerk that shotgun passed the semi. Shot Gun pass= a man in a black Nissan sped up close to the semi truck in the right lane and then went to pass him on the left but did not see the green mini van stopped in the left lane with her turn signal on. so instead of hitting me at 55 he hit me at about 70. NIIIICE... Didn't have insurance, police dealt with him. I never made it out of the car. I got my favorite shirt cut off of me, and the neighbors brought Travis and the girls down to the intersection. I was so scared. I hit my head on the steering wheel, or more like my jaw. HURT.. I was slowly recovering but really did a number on my C5,6,7 in my neck and now they are leaking all of my discs out...surgery within a year YAY...but that was kinda leading me into

Accident #4) Only about 8 months after the last accident we were as a family going to Estate sales like we do/did every weekend..Only this time was quite memorable. We were on our way to the car Tiffani was right in front of me. There was a full size Chevy Suburban black as coal and he sped up to I guess get around us. He didn't He hit me in the left shoulder and chest hurting me pretty bad. cracked three ribs in front, not great. I am so used to this by now, I mean I am already at this point taking medication just to be able to move. Hand in hand of course there were all of my injuries that seemed to react in the way that made everything hurt worse because they were aggravated...Then there is

Accident #5...Just a few weeks ago. Travis and I were driving home from the store...and BAM from behind..lady ran...BUT she did end up having insurance, but I hurt my knee pretty bad and that kind of leads me back to the beginning of the post, I hurt my knee and aggravated my other injuries as well. It is kind of like I have been trying just to get through the days...So sometimes my posts might sound like I am whining, but I am trying not to complain as much anymore. I am slowly recovering and as long as nothing new happens again.. PRAYING.. then I am hoping to recover and not be in so much pain all the time! Anyway I thought as I was getting ready just now for the knee surgeon..."Remember back in the day when you weren't hurting at all?" and that made me think that I should share with you...so that when I talk about something you kinda have an idea what I am talking about. That's all for now, it is time to go to the doctor. I will update this post when I have the info! TTFN

Starting Over...

Here it is so late, or rather early I guess as it is now 12:22 AM..and I got a wild hair to start my blog OVER...I got to thinking that my blog was totally headed in the wrong direction and that the things that I should be talking about, were coming second to the things that I should be forgetting about, and I thought that since I was still so fresh into the blog scene that I would just start over so that when I finally print this thing out and let my family read about me what I sometimes don't say...that it wouldn't include (as many) crazy ramblings...not that there won't be quite a great amount of them eventually anyway..I just felt that a fresh start would be beneficial to all of us... followers included.

I was sitting here tonight and I got a phone call from my little sister Whitney( who isn't really my little sister but actually was my dad's (Way EX) ex- girlfriends daughter when she was just 7 years old, and now I call her my sister) and we started talking about way back in the day when we used to drive around...hanging out with Travis and how she can't believe that we're married now. It got me to thinking about the LONG, hard journey I had to finally get the man of my dreams...

Always friends..sometimes with benefits which was okay with me..this goes way back...and I started thinking about how I can't thank the Lord above enough for finally answering my prayers. I think he must've grown tired of hearing Travis's name from me. Whatever it was..he did it, our paths finally were not just crossing but ended together and formed into just one path and it was one that we were to walk together the rest of our lives. That this man would take 2 daughters and give them his name and make them his own, and raise them to become such wonderful, beautiful, respectful,(hard working), exceptional young ladies...What kind of man does that take. Mine. I hear too many a time about the guy that won't take care of his own kid, but do we often hear about the guy that takes care of the babies that aren't his? He who makes sure to let these children know that if EVER, EVER they need anything that they can come to their daddy? I truly am blessed.

I was thinking tonight about the night that I first met Travis, I was in love at first sight(maybe a little lust, or a LOT) but I knew the day I met him that he is who I would love forever. I was actually friends with his sister and we were hanging out at our apartments and lived across from one another and her brother just stopped by. I told her, OMG he is HOT..she said, "EWWW that is my brother!" I knew then that I would find a way. I'll tell you one thing, it wasn't easy. It was a long road, but I would fix my flat tires, and I would get my fenders fixed and I would fix my windsheild....I will tell you there were a lot of cracked windsheilds and a lot of wiper replacements but in the end I prevailed. Travis told me, "I think God knew that we were supposed to be together." DUH, I was thinking yeah I know that but what took you so long.

We officially started our journey as husband and wife on May 29th, 2009. That was the day that I married my best friend and the day that in our church before god I gave my pledge to always be there for my friend and support him and care for him forever. We did this with our daughters as a part of our ceremony, and Travis asked the girls in the ceremony if they would accept him as their dad and as their moms husband. It was truly beautiful, I think I smiled so big the whole time because if I moved my cheeks the tears would fall out. I did cry though...alot. It was a very beautiful, emotional ceremony, and it was the most amazing feeling. After waiting for so long, to feel that beautiful white gold band slide on to my finger...there aren't even any words to express the way that I felt in my heart. If it could literally explode then piece back together really quick just to beat really fast..that would be close!

I was just thinking tonight that it all really started when I met him, my life...I was alive before, I was here..but I never felt alive until I met him. We now are a family, a whole. It feels wonderful to know that I have support in my life and that my daughters have the support that I have never known. To know that my kids can go to their dad for anything makes me so happy. He has changed so many things for us, and there are no words to express how completely peaceful he makes my heart feel. It was a rough drive, but I am here...and I am not driving anywhere without him again. I am sitting here watching him sleep next to me,

"I thank you LORD, for hearing my prayers, and thank you Lord for giving to me my best friend. Thank you for hearing me and finding that this was the right thing for me. Thank you for giving this man to my daughters as their father and their support. Thank you for being my saviour and thank you for every thing that you have given to me. My daughters are so perfect. Thank you for my beautiful babies. These three people lord are my best friends and I wouldn't be anyone without them. Thank you for making me someone Lord..Thank you for making me "Mommy" and "WIFE".

Thank you for bearing with my crazy postings, I just needed to start over...and head myself in the right direction.